Knee-Jerk

How does your experience of a being father fit into this?

I guess that was part of the evolution of what this book became. I felt very connected to the father who was shaping him through this. We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. Sometimes I feel like I’m father of the year, other times I’m like, “How do you do that?” You know, to your kid, how do you say that?

Henry licked his cone and peeked at Danny over the hill of ice cream. A chocolate smear circled his mouth like a clown’s smile. His hand was clamped around his ice cream and the first knuckle of his index finger poked through the cone. A wet glob dripped over the crotch of his thumb.

Henry steadied Danny’s hands in his own and began licking away at the mess of the ice cream cone in an effort to salvage it, and Danny screamed, finally surrendering the ice cream cone to his father as Lori erupted through the door of the Brown Cow.

Our workers, those hardy souls, have found new logs, new tin drums. We and the queen shall stir here to the end. Our purpose is her purpose. Our duty is her. It is she we serve. And despite our stockpiles, we just don't feel like eating. The taste of the wind has changed. More than the shift of seasons; that one's in our DNA, September swarm around any sweet dying thing. This smells apocalyptic.

Udo orders seven cases of artificial spray snow. Stacked in the entryway, the cardboard boxes contain twelve thirteen-ounce cans each, and stand as tall as a six-foot, three-inch Christmas tree. And though it may be logical to order artificial snow in Arizona, Udo has other appropriations for the aerosol flurries than festive embellishment.

At seven months pregnant, hoping to achieve natural childbirth, I am practicing a technique called Rainbow Relaxation. My husband is a mother bird, propping me up with pillows behind my neck and between my knees. He draws up the quilt. It was a wedding gift, and picking out just the right pattern was a labor of love.

Cheese fries, according the study, have been found to increase one’s sex drive; pizza makes teeth whiter and raises SAT scores by 50 percent; nachos clear the skin; and, the natural fairy dust from which cheese is made, combined with the happy thoughts that are inherent when eating nachos, can, in fact, cause spontaneous flight.